Stripping Officers
by ShipDaWhoop
Summary: "Strip poker." "Baka, what makes you say I'll even be playing with you?" They were Petty officers that time, both stuck in the same room. A storm outside, a deck of cards inside. Smoker/Hina fluff. Rated T for swearing and extreme innuendoes!


**Note: They're playing Texas Hold 'Em. It's the only poker I know. Check Wikipedia to be familiar with it ^^;**

* * *

Stripping Officers

_by ShipDaWhoop_

* * *

She was staring at the window. The window that showed the most inhumane scene before her.

Now it wasn't a view of people killing each other mercilessly or the homes of children burning into a roaring nonexistence.  
Not even about corpses reviving out of nowhere ready to invade houses, thirsty for flesh and blood.

For it was a panoramic view of heavy raindrops continuing to pitter and patter outside as thunder and lightning would dance every now and then among the cumulonimbus clouds by the gloomy sky.

She was annoyed.

"Hina annoyed."

Why she found the scene before her despicable was because she had planned to go to a bar tonight and drink to her heart's delight.

But the storm didn't permit her, too. It even looked like it was mocking her.

.

"Same here." Smoker grunted in the same room she was in. He was her roommate.

Now usually the Marines wouldn't offer a room for two opposite sexes to sleep in the same room but their stay in the village came in the last minute.

So here they are.

He wasn't annoyed with the same reason. He didn't want to go to a bar tonight since he hated the sounds of a crowd's endless bickering. It just ruins his focus.

All he wanted to do was stay in their room and just relax but he couldn't. His roommate wouldn't even give way for a second of silence in the room since she kept on nagging at how her plans were ruined and how it was unfair to her since she had helped greatly in their latest apprehension of a pirate crew.

"You're hissing, Hina. Shut it." He grumbled as he continued to play cards on the floor.

Yes, he was bored as well but he found a medium to occupy his time with. Playing classic solitaire was a game of luck. He liked it, he went for it.

"Hina's bored. Tolerate it." She said coldly, turning her back on the window. She stared at him.

.

"What are you playing, Smoker-Kun?"

"Solitaire." He answered before cursing at having no more moves available for him to continue playing. He started to shuffle the cards.

"Do you play poker?" Hina asked as she was already standing before the cards that he was spreading neatly on the floor.

"I play but don't pay." Smoker replied, seeing the woman sit before him. She was witnessing his game.

"We should play poker then." Hina suggested as Smoker rolled his eyes.

"I just said I don't bet, damn woman."

"Who says we're playing for money?" This caught his attention.

"What are you planning?" He asked, pausing his game.

"Strip poker." She smiled slyly. Smoker grunted, resuming his game.

"Baka, what makes you say I'll even be playing with you?"

"If you don't comply, force will be used otherwise." She threatened as he glared at her, placing his hand in his pocket. She raised an eyebrow at him.

.

"We flip a coin for it." He proposed and flipped the coin in the air.

"Heads." Hina chose.

He slapped the coin to land on the back of his hand. He uncovered it.

He frowned, showing a face up heads to her.

"Hina's pleased." She smiled as she took the cards and started to shuffle them.

"We're not playing strip poker."

"Poker with no bets is boring, you know."

"It will not be as boring as standing near the window, waiting for the storm to disappear." He smirked, making her glare at him.

"Besides . . ." He paused, glaring back at her.

.

". . . they're gonna be wondering why you're the only one naked in this room."

A twitch grew at the side of her forehead.

"You may want to eat those words when we actually play it." She pointed out, dealing a face down pair of cards to him then to herself.

"I'll compromise. When you're in your undergarments, we stop."

"You're pissing me off."

"I know." He smiled dryly, putting away his cards. "Deal?"

"Yes." He took five cards from the deck, forming a river between them.

"Show." He commanded and they compared. He won the first round as he had a pair of tens making a trio with the river. She frowned, her pair of kings didn't help her.

"Hurry up so I can play solitaire." She sighed exasperatedly while removing her right glove.

In the next round, she won but he mimicked her, removing his right glove as well.

"How about we up the ante in the coming rounds?" She proposed and he smiled wryly.

"Too easy."

"Two items." She said and he simply nodded. The third round showed her having two pairs while he only had an Ace high.

She waited with a smile. He simply removed his other glove and started to pull out the shoelaces on his right leather boot.

"Shoelaces? You aren't playing fair. It is annoying. Hina annoyance." She muttered and he laughed mockingly.

"Were you excited, Hina?"

"Let's just play."

.

Fourth round, he won with another Ace high apparently. He saw her frowning as she removed her other glove and simply slip her foot off her right boot.

"You're annoyed. Let's make it three items." He said heartlessly and she nodded approvingly, looking at her pair of cards. She thought she could win with this.

But her trio was defeated by his full house.

"Your boot and your suit, please." He murmured with a smile. She sarcastically smiled back, removing her left boot and then unfastening each button on her cuffs.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked angrily. "It's not like you removed the buttons entirely."

"Good point." She said as threads snapped when she removed the two buttons. It angered him much more.

"Calm down, Smoker-kun. The night's still young."

They were now playing their sixth round. She won having a Queen high. He removed both of his boots. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I suppose you still make the shoelace count?"

"Yes."

She was determined to win the next round.

Her determination paid off having won with a flush of spades. He removed his jacket, laying it on the floor.

"Your belt, Smoker-ku-" She paused with a furious face when he gestured her to see him point at the strap of cigars and jutte on his jacket.

Two items that he had stripped along with his jacket.

She calmed herself down since she was oddly liking how she got to see a better view of his abdominal muscles. Very admirable.

.

Controlling herself from smiling, she frowned at him.

"Piss me off one more time."

"Gladly."

He did piss her off one more time when his low cards helped him make a four of a kind with the river.

"Don't waste time, woman." He pointed out, smoking his cigars in delight.

She removed her suit jacket, revealing her thin white blouse. He could see her bra underneath.

.

Was it lacy?

.

She smiled at him as she undo the first button. He had a calm face but boy, he was waiting eagerly.

She continued to smile as her fingers were fumbling with the fabric, teasing him. She wanted to see his eyes blazing . . .

.

. . . in fury since she had moved her hands to remove both of her socks.

"Now, were you excited?" She laughed as he was exhaling smoke furiously.

"Have fun with that teaser in your mind."

"Let's just play." Smoker grunted as he dealt the cards.

He ended up losing to her straight. He glared at her who had a sly smile plastered on her face.

"I won't stare." She chuckled as he rolled his eyes.

He removed his belt, slapping it on the floor, barely hitting her. "Tch." Hina smirked at his childish antic.

Her smirk fell when he spat out his two cigars. "Why you, you-" He just dealt the cards, pretending to be innocent. She wanted to throw her arm through him, wanting to lock him down.

"Play, woman."

.

They looked at their own cards, both having such lucky pairs. Smoker had a pair of Kings but Hina had a pair of Aces.

As the river was being shown before them, she couldn't help herself grinning at the Ace that appeared.

"Full house." Hina slapped the pair she was proud of before him.

"Four of a kind." He slapped perfectly on her losing cards.

She had a full house because two kings came out as kickers but to think the kickers helped him get a better combination.

"They were nice cards, though-"

"Shut up." She mumbled as he laughed heartily, moving his hand to unbutton her shirt.

"I'll do it myself!" She shouted again, slapping his hand away.

"Pervert."

"I was teasing, Hina."

She continued to glare at him as she unbuttoned her shirt. It finally slipped off her arms, revealing her violet lacy bra.

.

"Skank." Was all Smoker commented, making Hina grit her teeth strongly.

She then undressed her suit pants, leaving the lower part of her body with a violet lacy underwear.

"Now what to choose?" Smoker contemplated, rubbing his chin. He had to admit, her current outfit complimented her slender figure.

Complimented it very nicely. He controlled his 'warrior' to salute in agreement.

She waved his finger at him, making Smoker cock an eyebrow at her.

"You will never see my body." She said coolly as he saw her untangling her ponytail, her long pink hair flower over her shoulders. He huffed, controlling his power of smoke to strangle her.

"I still have a chance." Hina pointed out, humming a small song as she dealt the cards.

"Fifty-fifty, don't get cocky."

Oh but chance was on her side when she had revealed a winning pair of Jacks before his only King high.

"Want help with that?" She asked slyly since he was hesitantly undressing his pants.

"Fuck off." He grunted as she pretended to be taken aback from his comment before chuckling fondly.

He left his pants around his ankles since he was removing both of his socks. Amidst that, she couldn't help staring at his boxers.

.

Now his boxers had raining Marine insignias on it but to see these symbols on a pretty pink background makes her want to teasingly remove them.

She couldn't help grinning at her asshole of a friend wearing cute, pink, short boxers before her.

"Stop smiling, Hina." He said sternly as he had already gotten rid off his socks and completely removed his pants, placing these items beside him.

"Last round." They both said in unison. Smoker dealt the cards, passing a pair for him then her.

They both looked at their cards.

They were holding onto such horrible cards. No sign of nervousness was shown in their faces as they started to form the river.

They looked at the river then their cards. Back at the river then to each other with a grin.

.

"I win!" They both yelled before staring at each other angrily.

"I was able to make a pair of fives, what do you have?" Smoker demanded, dropping his five of hearts and his stupid three of clubs.

"Same here!" She yelled, dropping her five of spades and her dumb four of diamonds.

"I won!" They both yelled again before they growled in unison.

"My card is five of hearts, a higher symbol than yours!"

"Symbols don't count! Your three is the lowest in both of our hands!"

"Where the fuck are you getting these rules!"

"Where the fuck are _you_ getting these rules! Is it from your ass!"

"Better than where you get yours! From your shit!"

She screamed in anger. She couldn't take it anymore!

.

She pounced on him, angrily grabbing his hair.

"You are an unfair gamer! Hina furious!" She shouted, scratching his chest harshly.

"Stubborn woman! Get away from me, spoilsport!" He moaned in pain, rolling himself on top of her, pulling the straps of her bra.

"What are you doing!" She groaned in frustration, punching him in the face. He snarled at her.

.

"You lost! Strip!"

"No, you strip!"

.

They were both now struggling to get rid of each other's clothes. His hands fumbling with the clasp of her bra, her hands yanking the waist of his boxers.

They continued to attack each other fiercely as she had bitten on his ear mercilessly. He fought back, strongly hitting his forehead against hers. But both were null to each other's attacks as they were growling in determination.

Endlessly rolling around the bed, she wrapped her legs around his waist to get a better grab at his boxers. He stopped her, pinning her shoulders down with his arm whilst using his free hand to get rid of her panties instead.

"Get off me, Smoker-kun!"

"I'm not done, Hina!"

.

The door creaked open.

.

They paused in their antic, slowly looking at the door's direction.

.

Standing in the doorway was the captain of their crew. He blinked at them innocently, taking in the scene before him.

A scene of a man whose waist was wrapped around with the woman's legs. This woman was sprawled all over the bed.  
His arm was pinning her neck while his fingers had ceased in barely slipping her panties off. Her hands were firmly clutched on the waist of his boxers.

They both had ridiculously tousled hair.

They were both heavily panting.

They both had such flustered faces.

They were both sweating closely to each other.

In conclusion . . .

.

. . . they were both having sex.

.

"What is the meaning of this?" The captain asked with a wry face.

So those groaning, moaning, thumping and bumping were from them.

Well, he was in a relief that two male officers weren't doing it . . .

. . . but it would have been nice if it were two female officers.

He controlled his nose from bleeding.

"I didn't start it!" They both protested worriedly at their captain.

"I don't care who started it!" The captain shouted comically before clearing his throat.

"But Sir, we were not having sexual intercourse." Hina pointed out, pushing Smoker off her. She quickly ran before the captain, saluting him.

"As if I would fuck her, Captain." Smoker said, standing upright beside Hina.

The captain simply glanced at the untidy clothes that were on the floor before gazing back at them.

.

Lacy outfit. Cute boxers.

.

"Sure, you didn't-"

"We did not!" They both yelled with sharp eyes and teeth.

"You'll both be assigned in different Marine crews in our next stop." He instructed before turning his back on them.

He started to walk away from them, taking out his handkerchief to wipe off his nosebleed.

"Use a condom, officers-"

"We weren't doing it!"

When the Captain left, they slammed their door close, heading to the location of their clothes. They dressed up furiously, not wanting to talk to each other.

Once in their clothes, they stormed off to their own beds, forcing themselves to sleep. They knew deep in their minds that they couldn't wait to get away from each other at the next island.

* * *

"Smoker-san, do you want to play poker?" Tashigi asked with a smile.

"Hina-jou, come play with us!" Jango and Fullbody bellowed lovingly.

"No." They both said coldly in unison. They were both going to leave in opposite direction but something caught their ears.

.

"Symbols don't count?" Tashigi asked as the two boys nodded.

"Yeah but you won." Fullbody sighed.

"You see, your lowest card in your hand is a five. Mine is three and his is two." Jango added.

Smoker and Hina stared at them in disbelief.

"I won!" They both exclaimed happily before staring at each other, sparks emitted from their intense glare.

They now bickered endlessly. Tashigi sighed in disappointment while the two men were rooting for their captain in the name of love.

* * *

Overall, it ended up to them playing with their fellow officers.

After all, they had agreed in one thing. To never play strip poker again.

.

"Nice rainbow boxers, man!" Fullbody and Jango laughed brashly.

"Hina-san, where did you buy your . . . skimpy outfit?" Tashigi asked, blushing furiously.

.

Yep. They were going to stick to this agreement until the end of time.

* * *

_Owari._

* * *

**Sorry for not uploading a One Piece fanfic for such a long time. Back to school, you know? ^^;**

**Also, I wanted to finish this dare fanfic before publishing this but I thought of uploading this since I don't want to disappoint my readers (do I have one? *laughs nervously*) from not publishing stories frequently.**

**That aside, I deeply apologize about the the title and the ending. They're crude but I hope it's good enough TT_TT**

**By the way, it's a tie :)) There was a two in the river so there we go.**

**Oh, who's the Captain? Just an OC maybe someone across Garp and Jonathan from the G8 Marine arc.  
**

**Anyway, I really can't help smiling whenever I read Smoker wearing pink boxers. Rainbow boxers even! I can just imagine it *croons***

***Ahem* Thank you for reading! Please review! It makes me happy :)**

**Also check out my other stories. It makes me happy as well :D**


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